I was once in a class at the state school I was attending over the summer when the subject of a professor talking about sex came up. And as I listened to these university students give this professor a dressing down, I couldn't help but mention that our art professors sometimes had entire body of works simply on that same subject alone. They were completely floored.
And while I imagine that normal professors are expected at a state college, I couldn't help but wonder about all the different types that I've encountered.
So here's my list (and I won't name names--obviously):
1: A seventy-year old hippie who loves life and everyone in it. This professor is the perfect array of helpfulness, happiness, and random rays of sunshine in his basement studio classroom. And his advice is actually helpful.
2: This man, though married, loves his students more than anything in the world (except his son of course), and is like the father of a family. He's kind, helpful, but occasionally scolding.
3: This man is young, handsome, single, kind, and loves the imagination. It's a wonder none of his students have tried to claim him yet. He's also a little bit of a pushover. But in relation to #2, he would be the charming uncle.
4: This man is foolish and likes to make friends with his students. He's lax on deadlines, and will take circumstances into consideration.
5: This woman is the go-getter. Unlike many, she listens (perhaps much more than she should). She stands up for what she thinks is right and expects you to do the same. She also has a harsh bark and an equally nasty bit, with an imagination that often runs away with her.
6: This woman is usually easy-going until annoyed or threatened. She then becomes increasingly hostile. She can be calculating, but like many others, she's unorganized and procrastinates horribly, so the better results of her plans are sometimes dashed.
7: This woman has no concept of reality or really the world she's in. She's a nice person when outside of the classroom, but has no patience and changes her mind frequently. Regardless of her fickle nature, she is overly harsh in her judgements, and apologizes for nothing. She also has a nature to persevere.
8: This man is often most happy when left alone or able to explain or work in a subject he loves. He sometimes overturns safety to get a better result in technique. He expects the best from his students, but is always fair. In personality he is adventurous and daring (probably more daring than most people in the world), and yet he is quiet, reserved, and intelligent. If you ever meet him, he may also appear a little lonely at times.
9: This professor is quiet and very intelligent. She also is one of the most open-minded people that anyone can probably ever meet in their lifetime. She listens to everything, usually remaining in a calm, sunny disposition unless you get on her bad side.
10: This professor is slightly egotistical, but he loves to learn. He has a vast array of knowledge and hates when people try to cheapen that knowledge, but for the most part he is reserved, soft spoken, and even slightly dry in demeanor.
11: This man is the definition of nerd. He loves to learn. He loves to see his students learn. He constantly bombards and is bombarded with a vast array of cultural and artistic knowledge. His opinions are valuable, but attempting to sort out fact from opinion is a challenge.
12: This woman is slightly odd. She makes jokes about strange happening with herself and her life, and sees the humor as well as the crap in society. Surprisingly, she is known for being well versed in the martial arts, and displays her hardened skill and mind frame in her personality. She is, however, a kind and slightly lonely woman. If you know her for even a short time, she will remember you forever.
13: This woman is the definition of "old and crusty," without being totally unkind. She believes what she believes and she will never change. You either conform to her ideas (and she'll love you for it), or you don't and she will genuinely hate you for it. She choses favorites and has no qualms about it.
14: This woman is kind and happy in every definition of the word. She loves to explore and to learn. So much so, in fact, that she always appears to have one foot in a completely different world. She appears meek, enthusiastic, and careless with half-baked teaching methods. But truly, her students learn tons by the sheer curiosity and enthusiasm that she sparks, rather than the threat of difficult testing or punishment.
15: This man is extremely reserved, pushed into an environment where he doesn't quite ever fit in, except among the students he teaches (who share his enthusiasms). He is always helpful, always patient and willing to repeat things again and again without fail. He also has no need to pile on the extra work. He believes that understanding comes with time and practice.
16: This woman loves to learn about people, and about cultures. She will speak to anyone in any language, and has a twinkle in her eye when she learns something new. Trying to convince her you don't understand, though, can be a completely different matter.
I'm sure I am forgetting a few people, but here you go... the professors at an art college.
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